A solitary life

I stand alone
graced with a dress of steel
beams
propped, holding me up
face exposed to the elements
no blush ever graces my cheeks
my glow reflects
extends far
I am a solitary figure
alone
feeling naught
fraught with the stares
of the eyes of the masses
the pointed fingers
they talk as if I cannot hear them
sometimes nice
most times not-
I hear it all
and sometimes wish
I was graced with no soul
that way I would not hurt
yet I cannot cry
in those times I feel the need too
I stand alone
solitary life is my punishment
though I am not alone
I wish for a life
I will never have
a life with others like me
they exist, I am sure
in a scrap yard
or factory waiting for me

The young Hero

The smell of death is in the air
pervading every pore
yet in the guts of the young
gallant
brave
a burst of excitement grows
the moon reflects on the sea
lights the path
and scurrying like ants
our heroes clamber the cove for cover
from the pellets raining down
young heroes
fallen heroes
what destiny awaits
souvenirs
tags
an old embroidered handkerchief for my mum
sent in a calico bag
with a number
may he rest in peace
gallant and brave
young hero
all on her Majesty’s embossed paper
addressed to the mother-
whose pride wasn’t much
begged him to stay
he was far too young
a mere boy
not old enough to shave
to drink
to vote
to drive-
still a boy,
her boy-her child
she didn’t want him to go
her conscience
forever her pain.

The letter A

I knew your name
many years ago,
it began with an A,
capital A, proud and strong
sphere like A-
like Angel,
Amelia,
yet it wasn't one of those,
and then I woke one morning
the sun beat down,
your bed had gone cold
you were gone,
yet everything remained,
soon your memory followed,
your name did not,
pass my lips-
I knew your name
and then,
I no longer did
it was an A though,
it was-
though it could have been another,
now-
I'm not so sure,
memories are faded,
yet everything remains
I knew your name once,
and now I don't,
I no longer need to,
do I...

An ode

Fallen
reverent
angel
never
callous
endless
sight
calm
opponent

Cancerous
revelry
insolent
selfish
poignant
order

Why?

Precious heart

Precious heart that pains
I keep in a big black box,
when days are dark
and haunting,
latched,
chained,
hidden it stays.

Precious heart that weeps
I dry the cascade of tears,
red silk handkerchief gathers the drops
until in the sun it dries,
splotchy faded,
scrap of silk,
for that day they fall again.

Precious heart that soars
I keep it on a string,
and let it fly far away,
to bask the world in
understanding and
sympathy,
then I reel it in.

Precious heart that guides me
in times when I am lost,
Kept close to my chest,
hand upon its beat
constant,
strong,
unyielding.

Oh precious heart that breaks
pieces scattered lost
gingerly,
I gather them,
pick them one by one
but no amount of glue, or tape
can fix what's been undone.

Precious heart
most faithful,
you will never let me down,
in you I have every faith,
in you I have a friend,
together til eternity
together til the end.

The equlibrium that was

Wild life
wild hair
wild winds-
rage
tempers rage
when life throws a curve ball,
messes up the equilibrium that was,
and no longer exists-
no one saw,
no one said,
no one wanted-
but had not choice
stopped,
stooped to pick up the
pieces,
sweep up the mess,
mop up the tears,
they weren't wasted,
just not needed-
couldn't change anything
couldn't make a difference,
couldn't take it back-
wild life
wild hair
wild winds-
calm
down,
slowly.

Freedom feels like this

I am home,
in a cell
four walls, caving in
roof, closing in
life, closing down
in a cell
that leaves me gasping for  breath
leaves
me gulping for air-
that sticks to the inside of my mouth
and stays there,
I cannot swallow
it, leaden-it blocks my throat and then,
I raise my arms and feel it making it's way down
and I close my eyes and dream
of that place
that lets me stretch as far as I can
wide arms,
air filling my lungs,
my body, lets me float
to the sky,
in the great vastness
of time,
space
air
life.