This is all I could do

Somewhere-
far, far away
I left my heart beside you
in our bed
asleep-
snoring softly, your arms held close
how you always sleep-
eyes fluttered
I held my breathe and waited-
nothing
I kissed your brow-
softly
a butterfly kiss
before I left
you stirred-
turned your back to me
it was all that I could do to stay
tears stained my face
but I held myself together-
after all tomorrow would come and home again I'd be

In a small town

I know not what I write
for I don't live here
or know the daily suffering
I am in passing
temporary
fleeting
I hear-
bells sound in the distance,
of the great church
lovingly built-
sand stone block by sand stone block
stained glass intricately melded together
to form the Virgin Mary, Jesus in arms
by the nothings of this town-
the minions walk in single file to hear the words that will save
them from damnation-
and down the road,
as deep forest meets,
a young man meets his destiny-
a single bullet chosen by his best friend
the boy he grew up with-
ate from the same plate
to deliver the message from those much higher in the chain of-
greed
wealth
and a self attested power
to a boy who only wanted what was rightfully his
but knew within his heart of hearts
he would never have

Death is

Death is a ceremony
it has its own song-
smell
ambience
it has its own colour
the darkest midnight,
without a solitary star to illuminate its path

Death has its own mystery-
no two are ever alike
both in the deliverance
and the acceptance
cowered
or arms outstretched
it never receives a welcome
or anything else

Death has its own greeting
its pledge's-many
it is the most well known
above all else-
death is the holy one

Leaves of a chestnut tree

Abandoned palaces of red brick-coarse cement
terracotta
homes of the fled-
when pestilence came it did not discriminate
when life failed-
dreams were shattered
what could have been became nothing
promises-
ties made to a land that was all theirs
born unto
but circumstance prevailed
and all that is left
are the fallen leaves
now gold-
rotten
of the chestnut trees

She rules with iron fist

She rules with iron fist
determination-
authority
but at night
when darkness cloaks the day
for a break
she ponders
and lets herself laugh-
be thankful of the life she has led-
alone
a mother hen to her own and others
she's watched them grow
and leave her nest-
insignificant places in the world
from afar, she's dreamed of them
she's seen hardship
life renewed fresh and beautiful-
this is her time until no more

All about the cash

Smell the money
in thick wads
all around the world they gather-
the glamorous
made up to the nines
exuding not the sweet smell of-
Prada or Chanel
but the dizzying smell of cash-
they walk,
head poised with an arrogant casualness
as people part
like Moses parted the sea-
the rich
this place of war
jealousy
caused by an insignificant piece of fabricated paper

Distances

Giddy-
while a piece of my heart remains stagnant
an everlasting gasp of breath
suspended in time-
for the time-that time,
that one day-
one day when I see your smiling face,
again
and time ticks over once more
picking up where we left off
in your embrace
where I feel whole-
content like myself
as if we'd never been apart

Just what I am

I am nothing but a solitary figure trying to get by
Hidden in the darkest shadows
This is how I like it-
I am nothing but a void in the earths population
I account for nothing-
To know one
This is how I want it
I am nothing but your biggest nightmare
The thing that makes you awaken with fright-
Hoping this will never be you
I am this
But-
You made me

Ice cream lickers

I counted them all
They fit on one hand-
Soon though they came in packs
No longer could I count the with my fingers-
Or toes
They came bearing bundles of brightly coloured swatches
Gaudy mismatched colours that polluted the serenity of the moment
Voices loud inconsiderate and ignorant
They came laden with bottles-mistook this for a dingy drinking hole
They drank like they'd never had a drink before and once done they left-
Strewn and strayed
Dirty refuse
All for a single days pleasure

Feeling giddy

I'm chasing the lights-
For the first time
I'm seeing technicolor-
Feels good-
I could go all night
I'm singing like I've never sung
Songs I'm making up words for
Don't care who's listening
I'm just thankful to be alive-
Today's my day
Watch me dance
Feeling giddy-
No one's going to bring me down
This is it
Dancing in colour
Chasing lights
I'm not dreaming
I'm not
Cause this is it for me now

Red dust

I'm on the outskirts-
Red dust never settles
Frenzied dance
That covers everything
War paint
But there's no war here
Only a harsh life-
No swollen egos
Comraderie
And mateship-
Friends til the end
Forgotten land
But this is home

Mother

Dear mother,
I'd like to take the time
And thank you for all those times I didn't
Or couldn't
Wouldn't-
Ostinentatiousness
Arrogance
Defiance was my mantra
But times have changed-
I've grown
Come to realise you were right
I-wrong
Always
I appreciate your words more now
Your opinions
Your guidance-
It's never to late
So
I thank you
Things change when you're raising your own-
You change
Suddenly everything is different-
But then, you said that too
Didn't you?

Common things

She was fourteen
A child but they did not see it that way
Married her off-
A large family
No money
It was the normal thing to do-
Shipped her off with a glory box of linen and broken dreams
He was older-
Wise and experienced
Only married her because they told him too
Took her from one forgotten land to another
She stopped dreaming
Forgot from where she'd come from
There was no point thinking of what was gone
Bore him a child,
Nearly killed her-
He didn't care
Not for her
Not for the child
He wanted a boy
Two years on
She looked more like an old woman than a child of sixteen
She had a baby-
A boy
He was discontented
The boy was not right
Belted her to prove it was her fault
She bore him no more children-
The days passed
He disappeared
The little girl was no longer-
This is her story
Sad
But true

Sounds

These are the sounds-
The deafening silence after a vicious argument
Uncomfortable
Irresistible
Maddening silence-
That makes you question your motives
What were you hoping to achieve
Really-
This is the sound of death-
A guttural animal sound
A wail that goes on through the night
Piercing walls
The air
With anguish
A pain you cannot live with
This is the sound of living-
Laughter
Hysterical
And continuous
Breathlessness and the need to pee
This is the sound
These are the sounds-
Listen

A writer's life

He sits at an old chipped desk-
A many-splendered coloured desk
Meridian time
Yet he works tirelessly
Sweaty
Airless
The fan in the corner remains still
His mind overloaded works fast
His fingers are not
Pencil blunt he digs harder onto the paper
Indentation of yesterday's words
And those of the day before
He poises mid thought
Parched
After this page he'll get himself a glass of water
Maybe make himself a sandwich
He's sure there's a roast in the fridge
Perhaps even some Swiss cheese-
He continues to write
The page flows into another
And then into another
The witching hour-
He lights his desk lamp
Poises
Parched-
He'll stop at the next page
Surely

A true love story

She was old
But he was older-
Speckled flecks
Peppered grey-
Lines
Story lines he liked to call them
But no one ever had the time to listen
Just her-
Heard them all a million times before
She still laughed when the funny bits came-
Still wiped the tears when it all got to much
She was sick-
He sicker
He'd nurse her nights when her temperature rose
She'd hold his hand when the pain got too much too bear
They lived alone-
Kids forgot
They tried
Never gave up-
Though never talked about it
She was old
He was older-
And when she went
He soon followed

Requited

This is how it goes-
One day
There was a man who fell in love
But she loved another
And so it went for years and years-
He never stopped pining
He never married-
Wished her a long and happy life at her wedding
Then drowned his sorrows when no one watched
Bid her good morning every day
And gave his condolences the day her husband passed-
Silently smiling
It was time
She welcomed him the first time-
He bought flowers for her the second
Asked him to stay for dinner the third
And by the fifth she realised-
She loved him-
Asked him to stay the sixth, the seventh-
And for every day after
This is how it goes...

I'm a big girl now

I'm not afraid of anything
Thanks to you
Not anymore
Not of the dark
Not of the unknown
Or of the bogey man-
You were my bogey man
A nightmare come true
Brought me to my knees
Made me weak
Until I had nothing left
But that girl's gone-
She left the other night
Woke up to someone new
I saw her in the mirror
She looked the same-
But not really
I'm not holding anyone's hand
Or sleeping with a night light
Rosary beads
Garlic
Or teddy bear
I'm a big girl now-
I'm not afraid
Cause
I say so

A solitary army

And what of it-
So I can't change the world
But I can change my role in it
I can take what's in my hands and mould it
Care for it and make it something worthwhile
Put it back into the world and be proud
So, I can't change someone's life
But I can do something unexpected
Unplanned and nice-
Make them smile, even if only for a while
No, I can't heal the sick
Though I can lend them a hand and show them that I care
No, I can't perform miracles but I can surprise someone with one act of kindness-
What of it
I can't do many things
But I sure can try to do something

Bound by shackles

My father once told me-
Treat all people fairly
Though, the ones that I say so
Treat even more fairly
I was young
Not entirely sure of what this meant
My father said
You can't treat people rudely-
It's not nice,
Except of course-
The old man with no teeth
He's not from around here and well, I just don't trust him-
Okay, Papa
My father was a fair man
He'd share the tobacco he grew in the paddocks with all the men that helped worked our land-
They'd drink and smoke until the sun went down-
Laughing
And the next morning if they didn't show up in time for work, he'd send them on a holiday-
They obviously needed one, my father would say
We'd never see them again-
My father was a fair man
Though when they came with shackles to take him away-
He went quietly

Dromana shore

He walks the sand alone-
Stops suddenly, stoops every so often
A gem-
Older than time itself
Battered by water, sand and weather
But still a beauty
A house long outgrown-
Grey, pearl-like
He walks some more
Flicks his toe
Not any will do
It has to be just right
This one shaped like a fan
Rust, copper a hint of white
Nature in its finest moment