Some things

Some things go on until life ends
like a ball of thread unraveling over time
sometimes fast, other times slow, gathering momentum—

some things only get better with time
like an aged red, sitting open on the bench breathing
waiting for the right company

some things take a hold of your heart
and never let go,
even after you think they would

some things hold that place in your
heart
mind
soul
body
that pain you to imagine them gone

some things remain
long after you are gone
only some things

Just stuff

The secret—
I penned it a long time ago
and even then I took my time with the words
they took so long to come
to sound right
to sound like they didn’t mean much
but deep down, I knew they did
and no matter what,
they didn’t seem fitting for it
the secret
my secret—
so I wrote it in the back of an old leather book
on the inside cover,
a book I’d written in over time
a book I’d never write in again—
I tied it closed with a green satin ribbon
and hid it in the bottom of an old box full of knick knacks and
things that weren’t important
an old tarnished locket
faded postcards
birthday cards
old bills
just stuff
and I put it high upon the shelf
and covered it with more stuff
until the entire thing looked like a shelf
of stuff
just stuff
and nothing more

Mosaic

Words of promise
secret words kept locked in a vault
that is my mind
I sit and ponder the words you said
why I promised I wouldn’t tell
I can't remember the reasons
or maybe I try hard to forget them—
I wish I hadn’t, kept my fingers crossed
like when we were kids
it’d make it easier
for me to tell
anyone
everyone
whomever would listen
words of promise
I close my eyes
would it be a break—
a crack
in our friendship
the faith
you have in me—
if I told...

Where do I belong

Finger pointed
like cold—
a steel barrel,
pointed at my head
you will never amount to much
much
to much
to much
to soft, he said
better stay and know your place
it’s not here, he said
away
away
away from here
shoot me down when I am low
down
and down
and down, he said
to the darkest depths of naught
where all devoid souls do rest
mark your place,
your space, he said
now go,
I said—go
now go!

Days

Vows would fall away like cool ashes
dreams would scatter like autumn leaves
thoughts would sprinkle like cinnamon sugar
and all I would wonder about was you—
suddenly I changed my focus
and things I never thought
would come
did—
paint a wonderland
of bright colours, shapes, things more beautiful than I could have ever thought
no more blinding haze of grey,
no more—
I saw it
my life
as bright as the sun
and as colourful as a perfect rainbow

Dear you...

I’m leaving.
Don’t try to find me,
I won’t let you.
This time I won’t.
I won’t try to hide, like some scared rabbit.
I won’t change the colour of my hair, my name or wear some ridiculous disguise.
I won’t.
But, I don’t want you to come after me.
Leave me be, just this once.
I may come back, I may not. I won’t know, if I don’t go,
so don’t, don’t try to find me.
Leave me be.
Just this once.
Please.
   

The Message

I met someone interesting tonight.
At the bottom of a vodka bottle.
It was when I thought I’d had enough to drink, but I wasn’t quite sure.
I suppose you could say the decision was made for me—the bottle was empty.
I was in no state to drive down to the local bottle shop and buy another.
I sat there smoking cigarettes.
In a cloudy haze, I thought I saw my thoughts dance around my head and then I heard it.
It wasn’t an external noise as much as it was an internal feeling.
It did not call my name.
It did not ask me for the time.
It just sighed.
Maybe I sighed.
I’m not sure, all I know is that I became aware of it.
I heard it.
I spoke to it and it listened.