The other side of me

This itch is more than I can take
I scar my body and yet it persists
my blood is on fire—
poisonous
infectious
and yet you are all I think about
I cannot dispel you from within
privileged—my mind—a vault
yet you know my thoughts
intimate
personal
you feed off my vulnerability
I hate you
despise and loathe you—
but I cannot live without you
my thoughts are black
I see no sun light
why must we continue
surely—
it is time for the curtain call
to end this