A short story

Did she cry—
call for help
beg for mercy
or lay mute
in my head
she knew it was the end
never could leave her mark
and find her way out
destiny
predetermined
it was written
long before she even knew it
saw it coming—
do you think
I hope not
eyes closed
oblivious
a surprise
ended quick
give her some
dignity
sanity
peace
I hope
that it hadn’t happened
at all
wouldn’t feel the need then
to think
wonder
question
why—
but why
does it keep me up at night
makes me break into a sweat
in the cold
makes my palms clench
sweat
nails dig into my hands
I cannot help—
could not help
useless beings
audience
was there
I hope not
know not
wish not—
but always that incessant
why—
but why