Death of a Father

A little girl
I was when you went away
my eyes stayed dry
my nerves—calm
all around me,
the world was crumbling down
a mourners parade—
who could cry the loudest
who could scream the loudest
I chose to be silent
I shut my lips
closed my heart
and kept it all inside
black night
starless night
comforted me
wrapped me in a silky black blanket
and lulled me into a dreamless sleep
and when morning came,
I awoke with less strength than the night before
and still walked in my weather-beaten footsteps
I had already created
and still my eyes remained dry
fingers pointed
words spoken harshly behind my back
I saw it all
heard it all
and took comfort that they were hurting for me
no one took the time
to ask me
I heard the voice inside
louder
louder it grew,
could no one hear it?
No one did,
time passed
cliche'—slowly
a Hallmark card expressed me
why couldn't those who loved me know...